At the start of this week one of my friends asked me if I wanted to give a brief talk at an Open-Mic night. She had been reading this blog and thought I had some insightful words to share with others. Now I presume that the normal reaction in this situation is to be thankful for having someone bestow such a compliment on you, and then to look in your diary to see if it’s a viable possibility. However, when I started reading the notification, I began to rebuke it as if it was a curse being cast upon me. Why would she want to put me in such a situation? Public speaking is definitely one of my weaker areas so why should I burden people with five minutes of me umming and ahing my way through a story? I had nothing of impact to share…

It was the final thought that really caused me to stop and think. How could I think I have nothing to share, when I spend my free time writing a blog with the sole intention of sharing my thoughts? I guess there is a difference between me thinking I have something to say, and others recognising it. I didn’t feel qualified enough or deserving of this opportunity. I was suffering from a serious case of imposter syndrome.

Everyone suffers from imposters syndrome from time to time. We doubt our abilities and accomplishments and experience a fear of being exposed as a “fraud”. Meryl Streep experienced it after winning her first Academy Award; John Steinbeck, a Nobel Prize winning author, wrote that he had been fooling himself and others into believing he was a writer; even Serena Williams suffered from it during her early career. Self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy are common, and I often experience them. I play multiple instruments but will never call myself a musician; I have played on many sports teams throughout my life but have never once referred to myself as an athlete. To me, it feels that by accepting those titles I am opening myself up to scrutiny and when under cross-examination people will see that I am nothing more than a foolish kid. However, this isn’t true.

I believe that everyone’s life has a purpose and we have been blessed with skills and talents for a reason. If that’s the case, who are we to doubt and belittle them? In doing that all we do is get in our own way.

A few weeks ago, one of my favourite podcasts “Jesus and Jollof” actually covered this topic briefly. They said that any room that you find yourself in, even if it felt like an accident to begin with, is no longer an accident once you are inside. People are placed in positions for a reason. Instead of shying away from situations we need to own them.

The podcast hosts also mentioned some great advice that they had received:

“When somebody gives you an opportunity, don’t insult them by telling them that they don’t know what they’re talking about by believing in you.”

These words really spoke to the situation that I found myself in at the start of the week. Rather than coming up with a hundred and one reasons for why my friend shouldn’t have offered me the opportunity to speak, I should have been grateful for the opportunity and the fact she believed in my capabilities. I needed to get out of my defeatist mentality and make the most of what had been presented to me. I had to get out of my own way and take the stage.

“Whether you think you can, or think you can’t, you’re probably right.”

– Henry Ford