Dear Dami,

Has it really been 16 years since your entry into the world gatecrashed my jubilant festivities? Wow, time flies. That tragic day marked the end to my years of bliss, casting a cloud over my childhood as it brought an unknown entity into my midst to disrupt my way of living. It was truly a terrible occasion…

Okay, I’m being a bit dramatic. Having you as a sister has most definitely been an experience. We’ve had our ups and downs, but I have to admit that I love having you around.

As your older sister, my initial role in your life was to use you as a scapegoat for my mischiefs. We had a good thing going until you learnt how to talk and gained independent thought. I guess all good things must come to an end. From then, my primary purpose was to keep your ego in check, to ensure that as you grow into an intelligent, successful woman, you remain humble. Now, I thought I was doing a good job at this until you went on a tangent two weeks ago about the hardships of being ‘too popular’. All those years of relentless teasing and crushing you in competition were for nothing! I can’t believe I wasted some of my best insults on you. Anyway, that’s enough talk about my failings as an elder sibling, today is all about you.

You, the person that threw a towel over my head as I got out of the shower, then proceeded to punch me in the eye (I know it’s been almost 11 years, but I just can’t quite let it go).

You, the person who had a nine-year-old nemesis, when she was 14.

You, the person who was freaked out by young carolers last Christmas (I promise they were of no threat to your life).

You, the person who likes to spam my devices with selfies (don’t worry, I plan to put the pictures to good use).

You, the talented pianist and composer with an inspiring passion for music.

You, my favourite duet partner.

You, the best birthday gift I have ever received.

You, my oldest friend.

As today is a major birthday and I have 4 years of life experience on you (well technically 3 years and 364 days, as you often like to remind me), I thought that this would be a perfect time to impart some unsolicited advice.

Dami, you already know that life is hard. As you grow you will face larger and tougher challenges. However, if you focus your energies on the right things at the right times, it can also be very rewarding. It is all about finding the right balance. This is especially important as you approach your first serious exam season. As important as these exams are, becoming consumed by them is unhealthy. It is vital that you find ways to take intermittent breaks from all the stress and pressure and just enjoy life. It is definitely easier said than done. Worst comes to worst, just call me and I will happily waste a few hours of your day and take your mind off academics.

It is also important to remember that life is seasonal. It is made up of good times and bad. These seasons vary in length and sometimes overlap. During the good times, make sure to take time to really appreciate what you have. The friendships, the opportunities, the bliss. However, as well as making the most of these periods, you also have to learn how to be okay letting some of these seasons come to a close. Not everything is made to last. You never know what is waiting for you further down the road. Trying to cling onto seasons gone by may serve as barriers to those blessings.

The bad times you’ll face will be tough, but with patience, perseverance and the right support, I have no doubt that you will be able to successfully battle those hardships. Challenging times are necessary to build your strength and allow you to grow. I can honestly say that I am who I am today, in large, due to the struggles I have encountered throughout my life. They were painful times, but they equipped me with invaluable skills, knowledge and wisdom.

Remember that no matter where you venture (unless it’s into criminal activity) you will have the complete support of your family. We may not always get along, but united we are a formidable force.

If you take nothing else away from this letter, remember this:

“Fi tọkàntọkàn gbẹ́kẹ̀lé OLUWA, má sì tẹ̀lé ìmọ̀ ara rẹ. Mọ Ọlọrun ní gbogbo ọ̀nà rẹ, yóo sì mú kí ọ̀nà rẹ tọ́.”

(If your Yoruba isn’t up to scratch, check out Proverbs 3:5-6 for the translation).

So, that was my little two cents.

Once again, Happy Birthday Dami! You have recently taken to referring to yourself as a ‘bucket of blessings’ and I’ll admit that most of the times you truly are. You are pretty great. It has been a pleasure watching you grow up so far, and I can’t wait to see where life takes you. I hope you have an amazing day.

Love Ifeoluwa

(a.k.a. the person you only call when you need help with your homework or want to borrow money)