So, I’m a bit of a nerd. One area of life that I’ve always tried to push myself in is academics. Whether it was primary school spelling tests, secondary school art projects or A-Level exams, I prided myself on my work ethic and was rewarded with good grades. When entering university, I tried to replicate that focus and drive, but quickly realised that a diploma was not the be-all-end-all of life. As much as I wanted (and still want) to chase a 1^st class, being overly consumed by academic pursuit was unhealthy, stifling development in other areas of life, and causing unnecessary unrest. ‘Death by degree’ was something that I didn’t want written on my tombstone, so in order to keep my sanity, I had to start finding ways to guard my peace.

What does it mean to guard your peace?

In my opinion, peace is not necessarily a disposition that lacks noise, hard work or discomfort, but rather, it is a state of inner calm. To guard your peace is to protect your state of mind and maintain an environment conducive to growth and healthy living. This involves knowing your limits, restricting troublesome relationships, learning to prioritise and just simply taking time for yourself.

I am innately antisocial, so I am very good at prioritising beneficial relationships and protecting myself from people who like to give me headaches. If I am going out of my way and making a real effort to invest in someone, I want their net impact in my life to be positive. Why should I invite energy drainage and perpetual tumult into my inner circles when the world already provides so many sources?

For me, the hardest part of protecting my peace is knowing my limits and more importantly acting on that knowledge.

Knowing your limits

Everyone has limits. There is only so much information that a brain can process. There is only so much work that a person can do in a day. There are only so many responsibilities that an individual can handle. Going beyond these limits is not only detrimental to your mental state but can also impact physical health. However, it is not always easy to see where the line is in the sand. This is where self-awareness and self-regulation come into play.

You have to pay attention to how you feel after different activities (both the short-term and long-term effects), things that trigger stress and anxiety, and how you find yourself coping with various situations and responsibilities currently on your plate. These reflections and analyses allow you to identify your boundaries, and once identified you must learn to act on them. This could be saying no to something, redistributing time spent on various activities or simply taking a break, retreating to somewhere quiet.

Yes, there are times when we need to push our limits, but continually working at or past our limit is suboptimal and unsustainable.

Finding your ‘why’

When protecting your peace, closely intertwined with recognising limits and setting boundaries is prioritisation. Figuring out the relative importance of various activities, relationships and responsibilities during your current stage of life, and allocating time and energy to them accordingly. This is something I struggle to do effectively, but a tool that has helped me is finding my ‘why’ a.k.a. finding my purpose.

On the surface, identifying one’s unique purpose seems like a very daunting task, but when you break it down to a more practical level, it’s essentially identifying your core values, finding the driving force behind your actions. A greater understanding of these helps direct your focus and prioritise. For me, in addition to many of my values being grounded in my faith, I also hold skilfulness, dependability and wisdom in high regard. These are some key things that motivate and guide my actions.

Personally, I discovered that, a lot of the time, inner unrest is caused by a misalignment between our actions and core beliefs, putting too much effort into things directed in a different trajectory to our desired character or destination. Not only does this squander energy, but after putting yourself through all the turmoil (though there may be some short-term gains) little benefit is seen in the long haul.

Peace in the unrest

Guarding your peace doesn’t mean that you will be in a perpetual state of zen, the only constant in life is change. There will always be things that introduce imbalance and unrest. But I do believe that in the midst of the turbulence it is possible to better protect your mind and maintain a healthy environment for growth.

For me, learning to guard my peace didn’t mean I suddenly became an academic slacker, but I developed an awareness of the capacity in which I can best function. I recognised that I valued education as a tool but was able to identify the deeper values driving me and, thus, refocus my priorities. This meant letting go of unnecessary self-imposed pressure and expectations and knowing when to draw the line. Imposing boundaries and having some grasp of my ‘why’ also gave me the liberty to invest more time into life-giving activities and relationships, because I knew that I was (and still am) reaching for something greater than a diploma on a wall.