I am halfway through my degree. Well technically, not yet. In two weeks, I will officially be half done with my course. So, as a method of procrastinating revision for my final exams, I thought it would be a good opportunity to reflect on my journey so far.

University has most definitely been an experience. I have seen a lot. I have learnt a lot. However, one thing it has not helped me do is make a decision on what I want to do when I’m older. I have different personal goals in place, but career-wise, I’m probably further away from knowing what to do with my life than when I started my course. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am really enjoying studying Engineering. At times the workload has me questioning why I am willingly going into thousands of pounds of debt to endure such suffering, but it is a field that I find interesting. It’s a broad industry and there’s a lot I could do within it, but equally, I know I could use my degree to take me into all sorts of other jobs. Or I could choose a career path that’s completely left field. So, come graduation, I have no idea what route I want to take. However, I’m getting ahead of myself. That is still two to three years away. As far as I’m concerned, I am currently in the process of trying to open some doors. Which one I venture down is yet to be determined. What I am sure of, is that I am in the right place at this time in my life. So, my focus is on making the most of my present environment and the opportunities that come my way.

Although my time at university hasn’t yet lead to clarity for the future, it has been a time of personal growth. Since, despite my best efforts, I have stopped growing height-wise, switching my gaze from physical growth to character development seemed like a logical step. I have learnt a lot about myself in the past couple of years. I have seen where my strengths lie and have also come face to face with my many weaknesses. Long gone are the days of childhood where I could just excuse my shortcomings to age and pray for them to magically disappear, I now have to tackle them head-on. I’ve always liked to stretch myself and uni has definitely allowed me to do this. In order to fully engage with my surroundings, I have been required to frequently and consistently push myself outside of my comfort zone (aka the four walls of my bedroom). It’s been challenging, at times uncomfortable, but without a doubt, worthwhile.

During this time of growth, I have also realised that I really love myself. I have always relished my own company during good times, but developing the ability to love myself through the difficult times and having some compassion to balance my self-critical nature has been vital to my survival. Embracing love from others (outside my nuclear family) is something I am still learning how to do, but I’ll get there.

Speaking of others, a key part of the past few years has been coming in contact with a wonderful and diverse range of people. A few months ago, I had the pleasure of witnessing a grown man discover that lambs were baby sheep. Watching his brain put all the links together was a magnificent spectacle. But I digress. The social aspect of uni has been eye-opening. Man, humans are complex and confusing creatures. Although by nature I am a recluse, I have enjoyed meeting new people. I love learning about and listening to their stories. I’ve also discovered that social engagements aren’t always the worst thing in the world, so I think I’ll try to participate in them a bit more.

University has also allowed me to gain a new appreciation for loved ones. I guess it’s the old adage “absence makes the heart grow fonder.” I have found some truth in this. I am not one to miss people when they are absent, but when reunited I appreciate that there’s something special about having them close by. For this reason alone, I have made 300 miles round trips to spend weekends watching films with old friends. However, that being said, there is a limit to this fondness, and uni has also confirmed that (unless in dire need) I could never move back into my family home full time. I love them, but they are a loud bunch with little concern for my personal space. Independent living is definitely the way to go.

I could probably write more about my journey so far, but as I mentioned at the start, I am using this post as a way to procrastinate revision. So, if I want to actually go on to complete the second part of my degree, I should probably get back to studying. The past two years have been challenging but rewarding; frustrating but enjoyable; tiring but inspiring. Although my course has me regularly questioning my life choices, I am happy with where it’s brought me so far and am looking forward to seeing what the next few years have to offer.