The same pillow that is used to lay your head to rest, can be used to smother you in the midnight hour.

I don’t mean to be alarming, that was just something that dawned on me not too long ago.

You see, recently, I’ve come to realise that I value comfort far too highly. By this, I mean that I have found many of my actions to be driven by a desire for avoidance. I’m running from things that will challenge me or create further tension in my life; making choices that will provide me the most ease in the moment – but not necessarily long term.

I am endlessly searching for a pillow to rest my head.

A craving for comfort, in itself, is not inherently bad, it’s an essential part of life. It provides ease and tends to be a place of contentment and reprieve; a much-needed energy conservation state where things seem simple. However, while it has its benefits, pursuing it perpetually inhibits growth.

I guess one’s comfort zone can be likened to a beach island. It is nice to go there for some rest and relaxation, however, it is not somewhere you want to get stranded.

Now, this information is nothing revolutionary. I’ve come across hundreds of people teaching about the importance of forsaking your comfort zone; the need to push yourself beyond the expanses of your current ability in order to grow and learn.

Growth is something I strive for in all aspects of life. So, why is it that I’ve been letting that aspiration be smothered by making comfort my primary focus?

Personally, I think it’s largely a consequence of two things: craving the familiar and the fallacy of safety.

Craving the familiar

I am currently going through a transitional season of life. A lot of changes are occurring, and this can be a bit disorientating. So, in order to gain some grounding, it’s instinctual to latch onto something familiar. For me, this tends to be old patterns of behaviour. Habits that serve to provide some sort of instant gratification, but are not necessarily beneficial in the long run. I know better, but I don’t always choose to do better. But funnily enough, the reason I don’t do better is sometimes because I know better.

It is often said that familiarity breeds contempt, but it can also breed comfort. As humans, we naturally gravitate to that which is familiar; people who look like us, ideas that affirm our own, behaviours and habits that we are used to. I find the draw to be especially strong in the middle of transition, where there are several unknowns.

With old habits, good or bad, I know what the outcome of my actions will be – this provides a sense of control. The feeling of control and comfort can lull you into a sense of safety, and this is where my second issue lies.

The fallacy of safety

I’ve come to realise that, historically, I’ve falsely equated comfort with safety.

Comfort is defined as a state of physical ease while safety is freedom or protection from danger.

While comfort may temporarily ease our sense of distress, but doesn’t actually eliminate the threat. Often it makes us more vulnerable, as the ease provides a façade of security, blinding us to external hazards or the long-term repercussions of our chosen actions. Thus, caution needs to be taken.

The appropriate use of pillows

Honestly, I’m not sure how to conclude. I guess awareness and acceptance are the first steps towards change. The next is to take action. I know better, so I guess it’s time I stop being lazy and start doing better. This starts with displacing comfort from its pedestal amongst my priorities and figuring out how to utilise it appropriately. Otherwise, instead of it being a nice place of rest, it may end up being something that smothers my growth.