(I Mean No Disrespect #2)
Last week I wrote about how I unintentionally ended up conducting an inquiry into Yoruba respect culture. If you haven’t already, I’d advise you go back and read that post before continuing with this one, it lays the groundwork for what I’m going to talk about next.
Back in May, I found myself ringing up every Yoruba person I could think of to ask them the following:
“Why do you think respect is such a fundamental part of Yoruba culture, especially when it pertains to one’s elders?”
It was an act of sheer curiosity. Any initial agenda I may have had went out the window as the responses started rolling in. It seemed that nearly no one fully knew where the customs and traditions stemmed from, but there were a lot of theories.
These were some of the most common ones.
Respect helps maintains social order
It serves to clearly establish a social hierarchy/chain of command, which (in theory) allows for peace in the land. It helps you know where you stand.
Respect is used to honour wisdom and sacrifice
The older you are, the wiser you should be.
Elders are meant to pass down wisdom and knowledge to the younger generations. In return, they are shown honour through various demonstrations of respect.
In addition to this, Nigerian culture still strongly upholds the “it takes a village” mentality.
I remember being so confused when I got my GCSE exam results and heard adults congratulating my parents. Were they the ones that sat the exams? Did they have to suffer through endless months of revision? Sure, they had to deal with the occasional meltdown and outburst caused by my heightened levels of stress, but to give them credit for my grades seemed a bit much.
However, over time I came to appreciate a key value held by my people. There is the shared belief that your successes aren’t yours alone, but are also part of the road laid down by those who came before you. We stand on the successes and sacrifices of others; hence, it is part of our duty to honour them and show them respect.
Respect shows signs of good breeding
Like with many cultures, in Nigeria how a child behaves is seen to directly correspond to the perception of how ‘good’ or ‘bad’ their parents are at raising them. Now is not the time or place for me to delve deeply into my own personal opinions on this particular philosophy. But let’s just say that I take a few issues with it.
However, pivoting back to respect, practising gestures like kneeling when you greet elders and other traditional customs, demonstrates that you were raised well. You are upholding the traditions and customs of your people, so there is a greater affinity towards you. It’s a sign that you belong to the tribe.
And, especially in the modern day and age, where many view Nigeria’s younger generation to be growing increasingly disrespectful (more on this later), it is an easy way to win favour with people.
The Origins
While all the things outlined above help explain to varying degrees why respect is so fundamental in Yoruba culture, a few uncles and aunties were able to point me towards where I think it all stemmed from.
Let’s have a quick history lesson.
Unlike many Western and Eastern languages, the Yoruba language did not have a written form until the 17th century. Writing was composed of the Arabic alphabet but it wasn’t widely used.
Yoruba, in the form we know it (using a variation of the Latin alphabet), was not introduced until the 19th century, through the work of missionaries. The first publication of books was in the 1830s.
Prior to this, Yoruba was an oral tradition. History, legislation and teaching were passed around by word of mouth.
This is where elders come in.
You see, back in the day, elders weren’t just anyone. They were local councillors with several duties and responsibilities. They were in charge of the cleanliness and safety of the villages. They were also responsible for passing on important knowledge, helping legislate, and ultimately, protecting the people.
Displays of respect were an acknowledgement of their role in society. I guess it could be considered similar to how you are expected to bow down or curtsy when meeting a monarch.
However, over time society changed; written language was introduced, colonisation occurred and the way the population was structured evolved.
Respect being attributed to wealth, social class and age, is still very much indicative of its origins, however, the responsibility ascribed to the groups we should show respect to have vastly altered.
Traditions are a window into a period of time. A static reflection of an ever-changing society. Though dated, they are not necessarily out of date. They don’t necessarily need to be removed.
That being said, when asking people about respect, nearly everyone claimed that it was dying with the new age. They seemed to believe that we are seeing a generation of disrespectful Yorubas (and Nigerians in general) rise up.
However, is that truly what’s happening?
The definition of an elder and the role they play in society has changed significantly over the years. They demand the same respect, but this has largely been detached from the corresponding responsibility.
It is common knowledge that attitudes around Yoruba respect can be, and often are, easily abused. It is turned into a call for submission and blind compliance rather than a mutually upheld esteem.
Everyone knows and believes that respect should be reciprocal, but this isn’t always the case.
Many aren’t happy with this and want change.
So, I pose you this, is respect truly dying out or merely evolving?
I’ll dive into this question next week.