Today is Mother’s Day. A day to appreciate all the wonderful women who have raised us and helped shape us into the people we are. So, I thought I would show some gratitude to the incredible woman I get to call mum and reflect on some of the most memorable and impactful lessons that she’s taught me (so far).

Throughout my childhood, one of the most repeated teachings was that actions speak louder than words. The idea that your attitude and your behaviour tend to be far more effective in conveying your beliefs and intentions than the words you say. This is something that is very apparent when you observe day to day life. However, being the stubborn child that I was, a copious amount of convincing was needed for me to learn this lesson. It took a fight with my mother to truly get me to appreciate the message.

I must have been between 11 and 13 years old at the time. It was during the period where I was starting to outgrow my mum height-wise. I can’t quite recall how the confrontation began, but for some reason I was spouting off all sorts of nonsense and jokingly picking a fight. I was quite strong for my age, and without a shadow of a doubt, I knew taking on my mother in physical battle would be no trouble. I was younger, tougher and faster. Loosing was an inconceivable outcome. Man, I was so naive…

Within a minute of our ‘fight’ my mum had me pinned to the ground and was comfortably sitting on top of me, while telling my sister to get out her BlackBerry to record the occasion. It was not my finest moment. But, many years on I see that it was a key teaching moment. My mum knew that there was nothing she could say to shut me up that day. I was too stubborn to leave my stance. So, action needed to be taken to show me that though I was growing taller, I was not stronger, or in any position to intimidate her. Her actions were heard loud and clear. To this day I avoid fighting that woman. Instead, I sit back with my bowl of popcorn and watch my sister’s futile attempts to do so.

Another key lesson my mum taught me was the importance of perspective and outlook.

I once told my mother she was a biological error. Now, before you get appalled by my level of disrespect and start to judge me, let me try to defend myself.

I was in the car with her after school, having just learnt about genetics and reproduction in a biology class. We had just been taught that humans were designed to only produce a single offspring at a time. So, when multi-births occur (i.e. twins, triplets, etc.), it is because something happened that wasn’t supposed to. My mum is a twin; ergo either she or her brother were unintentionally produced. This thought process led to the logical conclusion that she was a biological error.

That day my mum was gracious enough to not smack me around the head for boldly stating that she was merely a blunder. Instead, she tried to get me to look at alternate arguments and perspectives. She got me to consider that she and her brother were blessings and there was a purpose behind their existence. They couldn’t just be summed up as a product of a mistake.

That was just one of the many times over the years that my mum reminded me of the importance of perspective. The importance of looking at situations from a range of viewpoints before passing judgement, especially when trying to relate to others. Through her actions, I also learnt how key the lenses we use to view the world are in shaping our reality. The fact that our outlook and attitude are fundamental in forming our experiences, and they have the ability to limit us or allow for exponential growth.

One of the biggest lessons my mum taught me was to have faith in the work you’ve done. I’m not sure if I’ve ever heard her explicitly say this, but it’s something that is evident in her actions, especially in the way she treats me.

Previously, I have spoken about how, as a kid, I saw growing up to be a story of liberation. On my 18^th birthday there would be an emancipation proclamation freeing me from the shackles of childhood and parental guidance. I would then enter an epic life of independence, liberty and utter greatness. Needless to say, this isn’t quite how my life played out, and honestly, I’m glad. Family is such an integral part of my life; I’d be lost if l had cut all ties the moment I entered adulthood. However, though growing up didn’t lead to complete freedom from my parents, it did cause a gradual shift in our dynamic. This shift came out of my parents’ (especially my mother’s) belief in the work they did raising me.

Out of everything I love about my mum, I am most appreciative of her trust in me. Her faith that she did a good job raising me to be a competent individual who is capable of making wise decisions. This isn’t to say she doesn’t query some of my actions or chastise me from time to time. However, this is always done in hopes of benefiting me, rather than as a means of casting judgement or control.

Her faith in the foundations she gave me, gives me the freedom to forge my own path, while knowing I can always depend on her and turn to her in times of need. It also helped create an open dialogue between us and a closeness to the point in which I proudly call her my best friend.

There are many more things I could write about my mum and the lessons she’s taught, but I think I’ll stop here. I’ve been fortunate to be blessed with someone who performs the roles of a mother, life coach, travel buddy, personal physio and best friend all in one. So, I just wanted to show some appreciation for all she’s done and wish her a happy Mother’s Day. I also want to wish a happy Mother’s Day to all the amazing women in the world who take time to raise fools like me into functioning members of society. You all deserve a great deal of praise.

NB: This post was most definitely just a sincere a way of me showing some gratitude to one of my favourite people on earth. In no way does it double as a thinly veiled effort to make up for the fact I never got around to getting her a Mother’s Day gift.