Back in May, I started writing letters of gratitude to people in my life, both past, and present. I realised that I can be quite guarded and don’t always express my appreciation for people and the positive influence they have in my life. The plan was to make a list of people I wanted to thank, write one letter a week and then send them all out around Christmas time. I thought it would be nice. Well, I am now 29 weeks into this, and I have 4 unfinished letters to show for it. I could come up with 101 reasons why I was unable to follow the idea through: I was too busy, my Netflix account felt lonely, I have a severe allergy to sentiment, etc. But in truth, I just refused to commit to the idea. Instead of focusing on the bigger goal, I let doubts and insecurities manifest. I talked myself out of the idea before I even had a chance to see it through, stripping away any chance of success.

The inability to commit to long-term goals is a recurring theme throughout my life. I come up with projects, start to execute them, but within a month they are abandoned. Sometimes there are legitimate reasons to put them to rest, but many are halted by a culmination of a fear of failure and an unwillingness to overcome manageable obstacles. I sign up for the end product, not the process. Ignorance is bliss, so all is good until an unexpected challenge strikes. Then, I become overly focused on the hurdles before me and lose sight of the bigger picture. Instead of giving time for success to form out of a cumulative sum of actions, I let one failure define the outcome. Progress that should be measured in the perspective of months or years, is assessed on the performance of a few days, leading to the ultimate downfall.

One reason this tends to happen is because I lack the discipline to pace myself. I once had a friend say, “if I’m not good at it, then I don’t like it.” Annoyingly, my default is to share this mentality. We live in an age of ease, where we have the world at our fingertips. We are constantly fed picture-perfect images of the end product and overlook the hustle that is sandwiched between points A and B. The inability to manage expectations and the desire to race to the finish inevitably leads to disappointment. Previously, I have written about the importance of patience, especially with oneself. Having the ability to endure difficult circumstances without responding in anger or annoyance. I said it was often key to progression and I still stand by that. However, I believe that commitment is an understated prerequisite of patience.

Another problem is that the idea of long-term commitment is often seen as something that is very confining. Even Google defines it as “an engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action.” So why invest significant amounts of time into something that could ultimately fail, when you could keep yourself in a perpetual state of openness to new opportunities?

For better or for worse we all have things that engage our time. Whether it be school, work, or simply procrastination, there are activities that are constantly feeding on our energy and constraining our schedules. In many ways, long term investments often provide more liberties than restraints. They put missteps into a broader perspective, making them seem trivial over time. They allow for the full exploration of possibilities and pathways, before relenting, and unexpected opportunities sometimes emerge. Most importantly, commitment provides the opportunity to succeed. Rather than stopping short of goals, you see them through to the finish. Consequently, you aren’t left like me wandering, what would have happened had I managed to write those letters.